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One to save the schoolgirls from lust, the other to test a new aphrodisiac. It's 1930, and two record producers - Master Records and Onofon - are competing to sign a lucrative contract with the leading singer of the day, Dolores Rossi.

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Baldie Tattoo Man Derrick Pierce (way too old for his role) paired with newbie Stevie Foxx, who has a major tattoo on her wrist crawling up her arm.

Their silly romance is cemented in marriage by his proposal that they head for the tattoo parlor to get a tattoo with today's date to commemorate his popping the question.

The town's wealthy benefactor dies, and leaves a bizarre bequest: unless one of the self-righteous citizens can produce an illegitimate child in 9 1/2 months, all his money goes to homeless cats, and they must start paying taxes.

The impending approach of Venus - known to cause "disturbing erotic behavior" - sends two men with very different missions to the town of Petit-Bois.

But he didn't count on Anthon Master having a twin brother, Benny - a straight-laced funeral director - who gets "recruited" to cover for his missing brother at the contract signing. Rossi wonders at the personality swings the Director of Master Records is exhibiting.

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